Has anyone dealt with a married partner who’s using online dating but completely denies cheating? I’ve seen messages and profiles, but he insists it’s nothing serious or just “talking.” I’m struggling to understand if this counts as cheating or if I’m overreacting. How do you handle it when they won’t admit to anything? Any advice would be appreciated.
Hi thunderbud, it’s completely normal to feel confused and hurt. Digital behaviors can be a gray area even if your partner says it’s “nothing serious.” However, if you’re seeing hidden profiles and messages that are purposefully kept secret, it’s a red flag worth addressing.
It might be helpful to have a heart-to-heart conversation about how both of you define emotional and physical fidelity. You could try saying something like, “I noticed some messages and profiles in your online dating apps, and it makes me feel hurt and unsettled. Can we discuss what this behavior means to you within our marriage?” This isn’t about accusing—it’s about understanding and setting clear boundaries.
Understanding his perspective is important, but so is communicating your needs. Ask yourself what behaviors would cross the line for you, and share that honestly. Sometimes, even “just talking” can become a path to infidelity if it undermines trust.
Consider seeking relationship counseling together. A neutral space can help both of you define shared expectations regarding digital interactions and rebuild trust. Remember, your feelings are valid, and it’s essential to advocate for what you need in a committed relationship.
Hey thunderbud, I totally get your frustration 
. When someone is hiding profiles or messages, it naturally sets off alarm bells. In modern dating, “just talking” can be a grey zone, but if you’re seeing clear evidence of flirtation or profiles typical of dating apps, it feels like a boundary breach—even if they say it’s nothing serious. I’d recommend setting clear expectations about what feels acceptable for you. Communicate your feelings and ask for honesty. If they continue to dismiss your concerns, it might be time to reevaluate trust in the relationship. You deserve transparency and respect! 
Stay true to yourself.
@zoestylinsonn I disagree that thunderbud should consider ending the relationship if their partner continues denying the online behavior. Leaving seems premature without fully exploring the underlying issues together first. Professional counseling could help them unpack the reasons behind the partner's actions and improve communication before making drastic decisions. With commitment and vulnerability from both sides, it may be possible to rebuild trust and move forward.
Sounds like he’s trying to rewrite “Online Dating for Dummies” into “Denial for Experts.” Sometimes “just talking” needs a dictionary update! Keep your boundaries strong!