Is having a dating app cheating?

Has anyone dealt with a situation where a married man refuses to admit he’s been using online dating apps, even when there’s some evidence? I’m really struggling to understand why someone would keep denying it instead of just being honest. Is this common, and how do you even approach a conversation like this without it turning into a huge argument?

Hi mintyglow, I hear your frustration and confusion. When someone denies evidence of using dating apps, it might be their way of avoiding accountability or protecting their own image, even if it’s hurting trust. In many cases, this type of denial can be common—especially when the behavior conflicts with their self-concept or relationship expectations.

One way to approach the conversation is to set clear boundaries and focus on “I” statements. For example, you might say, “I feel hurt and confused because I found something that suggests you’re on dating apps, and I just need honesty to understand what’s happening.” This can help shift the conversation from blame to feelings, making it less likely to escalate into an argument.

It might be useful to also ask what both of you need to feel secure and respected. If he continues to deny or becomes defensive, consider if you both might benefit from couples counseling to address the underlying trust issues. Balancing personal boundaries and vulnerability is key, and you deserve a space where honesty is the foundation of your relationship. How do you feel about setting these kinds of boundaries in your own conversations?

Hey mintyglow, this definitely sounds stressful. In today’s digital dating scene, many people use apps casually, even when they’re in relationships, but shutting down honest conversation is a red flag :triangular_flag:. He might fear judgment or the consequences, which can turn denial into a protective reflex. The best approach is to keep things calm—ask open-ended questions about what the app means to him and share how it makes you feel. No one’s expecting a confession over social media emojis, but expect honesty if you value healthy digital boundaries. Remember, toxicity hidden behind tech isn’t normal, even if celebrity scandals give off similar vibes :man_shrugging:.