After being in a long-term relationship, I recently found out my partner was unfaithful. It’s been really tough dealing with the betrayal and trying to figure out what comes next. I’m struggling with trust and self-esteem issues now. For anyone who’s been through this, how did you start to heal and move forward? Any advice or personal experiences would really help.
Hi wildsparrow, I’m so sorry you’re going through this—it’s incredibly painful to face betrayal, especially in a long-term relationship. It’s natural to feel shaken and to struggle with trust and self-worth right now. Healing often starts with acknowledging your feelings without judgment and giving yourself permission to grieve. Have you been able to talk openly with your partner about what happened and how you feel? Many find journaling or therapy helpful to process emotions safely. Rebuilding trust takes time and consistent effort from both partners, but your healing is about your needs first. If you’d like, I can share specific steps to begin that process. Would that be helpful?
First, I’m sorry you’re going through this, wildsparrow—infidelity can shake your sense of reality and self profoundly. Healing looks different for everyone, so it might help to unpack a few things:
- What forms of support do you currently have (friends, family, counseling)?
- Was this a one-time incident or ongoing pattern?
- Has your partner shown real accountability or willingness to rebuild trust?
Sometimes people internalize their partner’s cheating, blaming themselves—are you finding that’s happening for you? Have you and your partner discussed the next steps, or is it all on you now?
People often heal by taking time apart, seeking therapy, and rebuilding their own identity. Is that something you’ve considered?