Erin Leonard 21 stages of a narcissistic relationship are stones that can be used to trace the development of a relationship between a narcissist and an empath.
Opposites attract, and when narcissists and empaths come together in relationships, they are often very powerful. Overwhelmed by the narcissist’s charm, the empath’s capacity for unconditional love and deep empathy can be a much-needed balm to the narcissistic partner.
However, over time, the relationship will inevitably evolve. The idealization stage quickly fades as the empath discovers that the narcissist’s grand promises are empty. What follows often resembles a classic power struggle and can result in deep psychological damage for both parties.
This post outlines the 21 stages of a narcissistic relationship. It is important to note that not all relationships between a narcissist and an empath will necessarily go through each stage, nor in this exact order. Nevertheless, it is helpful to recognize these common steps, as they can often be warning signs that something isn’t quite right in the relationship.
Why Are Narcissists Attracted to Empaths
Stereotypically, narcissists are drawn to empaths because they view them as a source of admiration and attention. On the other hand, a damaged empath often feels compelled to help those who appear to be in need, which can put them at risk of becoming involved with selfish individuals.
Narcissistic relationships tend to follow a specific cycle: idealize-devalue-discard. Initially, narcissists shower their partners with compliments and flattery to gain their trust and admiration.
However, once this has been achieved, they then begin to manipulate their partner emotionally by devaluing them and subjecting them to cruel insults or criticisms to maintain control over the relationship. Eventually, the narcissist will discard empaths in relationships when they have outlived their usefulness or have failed to provide the admiration they crave.
Though narcissists often appear charming, confident and booming at first glance, the relationship can quickly become complicated and emotionally draining for their partner.
8 warning signs of narcissism you can notice before starting a relationship:
1. They love to talk about themselves
They may constantly be bragging about their accomplishments or trying to one-up others in conversation.
2. Inflated sense of self-importance
They may believe they are better than others or deserve special treatment.
3.Lack of empathy
A narcissist, the opposite of empath, often struggles to understand or care about the feelings of others.
4. They are constantly seeking attention and validation
They may fish for compliments or try to monopolize conversations.
5. Sense of entitlement
As mentioned, narcissists often have a sense of entitlement, leading them to behave rudely or dismissively toward others.
6. They are overly critical of others
This criticism can be put-downs or belittling comments designed to make the other person feel inferior.
7. They are always right
Another common warning sign of narcissism is that the person always believes they are right, even when they clearly are not.
8. They lack boundaries
They may invade your personal space without being invited or ask nosy questions that are none of their business.
Empaths are particularly susceptible to being taken advantage of in an empath and narcissist relationship due to their strong need for acceptance and validation from others. Narcissists know how to manipulate empaths by catering to their emotional needs and offering false compliments to gain control over them.
Empaths need to recognize when they may be involved with a narcissist to protect themselves from the potential psychological damage resulting from such a toxic relationship.
21 stages of a toxic relationship can be identified that help explain the progression from initial attraction to ultimate destruction.
How Narcissists Destroy Empaths in 21 Stages
Are narcissists afraid of empaths? No. Warm, receptive, and compassionate individuals can be lovely to narcissists because they allow the narcissist to feel in control and make themselves more important than their partner.
The relationship between a narcissist and an empath may begin innocently and enthusiastically, but eventually, the empath will start to feel drained and exhausted as the narcissist takes advantage of their kindness.
1. Initial attraction: The empath initially draws in the narcissist with their warmth and sincerity. The narcissist is attracted to how they make them feel and the possibility of gaining power over another person.
2. False intimacy: The narcissist builds a false sense of intimacy by listening attentively and pretending to care about the empath’s feelings and interests. At the same time, they are withholding important information about themselves, so it’s hard to determine how long does the honeymoon stage last with a narcissist.
3. Belittling: The narcissist belittles the empath in subtle ways, making comments that undermine their self-confidence and worth. This behavior can be difficult to detect at first, as it is often done under the guise of “tough love” or constructive criticism.
4. Centering: The narcissist drains the empath of their energy by constantly demanding attention and support. The narcissist will convince the empath that their needs and opinions are more important than the empaths. They will manipulate situations to ensure that they always come out on top.
5. Projection: The narcissist projects their insecurities onto the empath, making them seem like the wrong person or blaming them for things they have not done. This tactic is used to control the relationship with an empath.
6. Discomfort: at one point, the narcissist will make the empath feel incredibly uncomfortable through physical or emotional abuse. This attempts to keep the empath close by and in a vulnerable position. The empath may be taken aback by this, but stay because they feel sorry for the narcissist and think they can help them.
7. Revelation: the more the relationship progresses, the more the empath will learn about the narcissist’s insecurities and true motives. This is often a difficult realization for an empath as they have become so invested by this point that it can be hard to sever ties. The average length relationship narcissism at this stage is approximately two to three months.
8. Confrontation: eventually, the empath will realize that they are not getting anywhere in this relationship. The courage to confront the narcissist and break away will come from within them, as they can finally accept that the relationship is not healthy.
9. Denial: when faced with an ultimatum, the narcissist will often deny any wrongdoing and become defensive. This is a way for them to avoid accepting responsibility for their actions and deflecting blame.
10. Manipulation: Rather than accepting their partner’s boundaries, the narcissist may resort to manipulation to avoid empath and narcissist breakup. This could include lying, guilt-tripping, or threatening to control their partner.
11. Self-blaming: empaths cannot leave the relationship due to their strong sense of responsibility. They may even blame themselves for the narcissist’s behavior.
12. Justification: empath stays in the relationship despite all these red flags and continues to justify the narcissist’s behavior.
13. Denial: The empath may start making excuses for their partner’s actions, believing that things will get better if they just try harder or give more of themselves.
14. Reality twist: once the a damaged empath realizes that things are not going to improve, they start seeing reality in a twisted way. They get used to self-doubt and start questioning their own perceptions and judgment.
15. Fear of abandonment: The empath begins to fear abandonment, believing that the narcissist will leave them if they don’t comply with all the demands.
16. Subservience: The empath slowly starts to give in to fulfill the narcissist’s demands out of fear of abandonment. They become submissive and begin to ignore their own needs, thereby surrendering their basic rights as partners in the relationship.
17. Reflection: How narcissists destroy empaths? The empath begins to look at themselves in a different, negative light. They start believing they are not worthy of being treated with respect and love, and it seems like the narcissist is right about them all along.
18. Riot: This is the stage where both parties start to get frustrated with one another. The empath has had enough of the narcissist’s manipulation, and they try to stand up for themselves. The narcissist responds by expressing their anger even more intensely than before.
19. War zone: The relationship officially turns into a war zone. During this stage, empath and narcissist constantly try to get the upper hand on one another, which always results in arguments and resentment.
20. Escape: The empath finally decides that enough is enough and there’s no way they can take the endless cycle of manipulation any longer. They decide to end things with the narcissist and move on.
21. Recovery is the final stage in a narcissistic relationship — the recovery process. The empath begins to heal from their experience and reclaims their power, self-worth, and identity. It is an exceptionally difficult process that can take months or years to overcome fully.
How Does An Empath Get Over A Narcissist?
The recovery process includes learning to recognize narcissistic manipulation and red flags in future relationships, healing any emotional wounds inflicted by the narcissist, and finally, building self-confidence. This can be accomplished through counseling, support groups, journaling, and other forms of therapy.
Can Narcissists Change the Empath’s Personality?
Can an empath be a narcissist? The short answer is no. Narcissists cannot change the empath’s personality. While they may be able to manipulate and control their victims in certain ways, the idea that a narcissist can completely alter how an empath sees themselves, or shape them into an entirely different person, is false.
Although it may seem like the narcissist has changed you for the worse in some way, it’s important to remember that your core personality trait are still intact. Anyone else’s influence cannot change the signs of a male empath.
The only thing a narcissist can do is try to make you think that your true self isn’t good enough or worthy of love, but this is not the case – you are mor than capable of reclaiming your identity and self-worth.
It is essential to recognize the different stages of a narcissistic relationship to identify and protect yourself from further emotional abuse or manipulation. No matter how hard it may seem, you have the strength and resilience to stand up and take back your life.
What Happens When an Empath Leaves a Narcissist
It can be hard to let go when you deeply connect with someone. This is true when you are in a relationship with a narcissist. What happens when an empath leaves a narcissist? Leaving the relationship may seem impossible, and the empath may feel trapped in the cycle of emotional abuse.
Narcissists are excellent manipulators and can make their victims feel guilty for wanting to leave or incapable of doing so. They may try to gaslight the empath, telling them that the abuse never happened or that it was all in their head. The victim may also be threatened with further abuse if they attempt to break free from the narcissist.
Alternatively, narcissistic partners tend to shower empaths with love and attention when they feel the risk of abandonment. This “love bombing” can make empaths feel like they are in the perfect empath and narcissist relationship, and keep them hooked on the cycle of abuse.
The painful truth is that you must emotionally detach from the narcissist if you want to be free and stay safe. This can be a difficult process, as you may have grown emotionally attached to this person who promised you an idealized version of love. But it is necessary for your survival and emotional well-being.
How to Move On from a Narcissistic Relationship
The detachment process involves realizing that you are not responsible for the narcissist’s behavior and that you do not have to take on their emotional pain. Empaths in relationships must be conscious of your need for self-care and reject any attempts from the narcissist to guilt or manipulate you into staying in the relationship.
The best way forward is to build a support system of family members and friends who can help you through the process. This helps to keep your mental health in check and remind you why it is essential for you to move away from this toxic situation.
You should also look into therapy and coaching, as these can be beneficial support methods. These professionals will help you understand the underlying psychological dynamics of a narcissistic relationship and develop better-coping strategies for the future.
How does an empath get over a narcissist? It is essential to realize that you are not alone in this experience, and others understand what you’re going through. This can provide a sense of community and give you the courage to move forward. Just remember, it takes time to heal from narcissistic abuse, and it’s normal to feel overwhelmed sometimes.
Can Narcissists Feel Love?
Even when we come down to the basics of love, there is no question that narcissists can “feel” this emotion. Can a narcissist fall in love? They may not be capable of forming secure and meaningful connections with other people. However, narcissists can still experience the intense love rush for a short time.
Of course, it is essential to note that narcissists feel love differently than non-narcissists. They may seek relationships with people they feel they can control and manipulate rather than those who will truly meet their emotional needs. At the same time, narcissists often seek a feeling of adoration from their partners and a sense of power over them.
How narcissists destroy empaths? In the beginning stages of a relationship, empaths may be drawn to narcissists because their charm and charisma can be quite captivating. It’s easy to fall in love with the narcissist’s grandiose sense of self and their ability to make them feel special and important.
This is why many empaths find themselves in relationships with narcissists — they are charmed by the narcissist’s attention and flattery.
However, as the relationship progresses, empaths may become increasingly frustrated and confused by their partner’s manipulative behavior. Narcissists often use subtle mind games to manipulate their partners into doing what they want them to do. They will often use gaslighting, lying, and guilt-tripping tactics to get their way.
A damaged empath may also find themselves trying to “fix” their partner by attempting to understand why narcissist behaves the way they do and how to help them change. Unfortunately, this is a fruitless endeavor, since narcissists rarely take responsibility for their actions and resist change.
How to Heal from a Narcissistic Relationship
The most important step in healing from an empath and narcissist relationship is to understand that you are not to blame and it is not your fault.
When an empath has been involved with a narcissist for a long time, they may feel like they have done something wrong or failed in some way. It is important to remind yourself that the narcissist’s behavior was not your fault.
Next, set boundaries and learn how to assert yourself when necessary. Narcissists often push their partners’ boundaries and expect them to comply with their demands unquestionably.
This lack of respect for boundaries can damage empath and narcissist and lead to resentment and helplessness. Learning how to assert yourself can help you establish a more equal footing in the relationship and make it easier to stand up for yourself when needed.
Some ground rules to set are:
• Communication should be respectful and not involve name-calling or belittling.
• Both parties should be able to express their feelings without being judged or punished.
• Compromise should be valued and respected as a way of resolving conflict.
• Each partner has the right to privacy and personal space.
Additionally, take time for self-care. Self-centered partners are often very draining, so taking time out of the empath and narcissist relationship to focus on your needs is essential. Doing things that make you feel good, like meditation or exercising, can help restore balance in your life and give you much-needed nourishment.
Finally, remember to accept that no matter what you do, you cannot change a narcissistic personality type. Even if you make all the changes in your own behavior, it does not guarantee that the person will reciprocate.
It is essential to set boundaries and stick to them, as this will help protect you from any further emotional harm. Learning to put yourself first and understanding that your happiness should not depend on another person can also benefit empaths in relationships.
It is essential to seek professional help as soon as possible if you are in an abusive or toxic relationship. A mental health professional can help guide you through the healing process and provide support so that you may gain clarity and understanding while making decisions about your future. If a relationship with a narcissist has caused trauma or lasting damage, it is vital to find resources for help and healing.
Conclusion
21 stages of a narcissistic relationship involve an emotional roller coaster that can have far-reaching consequences. It is important to recognize when someone may be displaying narcissistic behavior and seek professional help early on to avoid further harm or damage.
With the proper support and assistance, it is possible to heal from abusive relationships and learn how to prioritize your happiness. Seductive and alluring at first, a narcissistic relationship can quickly become chaotic and destructive. Focusing on taking care of yourself and getting the help you need to heal from this type of experience is essential.
No matter what stage you may find yourself in, it is never too late to get out. With compassion and understanding, you can break free from this cycle of abuse and begin the journey toward liberation.
