5 Signs He Doesn’t Want a Relationship With You – and Probable Reasons Why

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Does he love me? Is he my boyfriend or are we just dating? Does he even want a relationship with me?

These questions are valid at the initial stages of a relationship. However, if you’ve been dating for a while and your partner is still giving you mixed signals – it might be time to re-evaluate things. For example, probably he doesn’t treat you like his girlfriend, but he doesn’t want you to date anyone else either. This can be confusing and frustrating, to say the least.

Why he won’t commit but won’t leave you alone? Unfortunately, it can be difficult to tell whether a man wants a relationship with you or not. Sometimes, it seems like he’s leading you on when he actually doesn’t want anything more than a casual fling. If you’re worried that the guy you’re interested in doesn’t want a serious relationship with you, there are some signs you can watch out for. This article will discuss five signs that he doesn’t want a relationship with you – and probable reasons why.

Read also: How Can I See My Boyfriend’s Text Messages Without Him Knowing

5 Signs He Doesn’t Want a Relationship With You

A few signs may indicate he doesn’t want a relationship with you, even if he acts like he doesn’t care but he does. For example, suppose you notice any of the following signs. In that case, it’s likely that he’s not interested in anything more than casual dating or hooking up.

He’s Never Around When You Want To See Him

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He texts you all day long, but he’s always busy when you ask to see him. You’ve been dating for months (or even years), and you’re beginning to wonder why we act like a couple but we are not official. It is time to face the hard truth if this sounds familiar: he doesn’t want a relationship with you.

A serious relationship includes standard plans because they indicate that both partners want to spend time together and move forward in their relationship. If he always has an excuse for why he can’t see you, it’s one of the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you.

When a guy says he loves you but your not dating, and you hear things like “I’m too busy at work,” “I have to take care of my sick friend,” or even “My grandma is visiting” once in a while is normal. But if this is his go-to response every time you try to make plans, he’s not interested in spending time with you. And suppose he’s not interested in spending time with you. In that case, it’s improbable that he wants a serious relationship with you.

Read Also: The 11 Early Signs of a Controlling Man: How to Spot Him Before It’s Too Late

He Always Has An Excuse For Why He Can’t Come Over Or Meet Up With You

Do you feel like your guy is making excuses for why he can’t see you? If he’s busy with work or commitments, it is one of the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you. He may be keeping you around as an option, but he’s not ready to commit to anything serious. It looks like he expresses deep feelings but pushes you away.

If you can describe your relationship as an emotional rollercoaster, it’s because he doesn’t want a relationship with you. One minute he’s hot, and the next minute he’s cold. He tells you he loves you but then ignores you for days. Then, he says he wants to be with you but then cancels plans at the last minute. This kind of behavior is confusing and frustrating, and it’s a sure sign that he doesn’t want a relationship right now but he likes me.

He Doesn’t Introduce You To His Friends Or Family

Do you already know his close friends and family members? If you don’t, he doesn’t want to introduce you to them yet. And that’s not a good sign. People tend to build a barrier between the people they’re dating and the rest of their lives. So, suppose he’s keeping you separate from the other important people in his life. In that case, it’s likely because he genuinely thinks, “I’m not ready for a relationship but i like her.”

Other situations can occur if he has terrible relationships with his parents or doesn’t talk to them at all. In this case, he can be afraid of being judged by them or doesn’t want to involve them in his personal life. However, you can’t be confident about this explanation if he’s never mentioned his family to you.

You Get The Feeling That He’s Not Really Interested In Getting To Know You

woman looking at man

If you’ve been dating a guy for a while and you feel that we act like a couple but we are not official, it could be one of the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you.

There are plenty of ways to get to know someone without asking them a million questions. For example, suppose he’s not interested in learning about your life, interests, or family. In that case, likely, he’s not looking for anything serious.

He’s never asking you any questions is also telling of his lack of interest. If he was interested in getting to know you, he would want to know what makes you tick. For example, he would want to know your favorite TV show, what kind of music you like, and what you like to do on your weekends.

Will he come back when he’s ready for a relationship? Questions show interest and a desire to learn more about someone. If he’s not asking you any, it’s a sign that he doesn’t want to know more about you.

Read Also: How to Spy on Your Boyfriend’s Phone

He Withdraws And Becomes Distant When You Start Getting Close

Why does he keep me around if he doesn’t want a relationship? As a loving person, you may take some responsibility for his emotional well-being and start to offer him support. Still, he will see this as a form of control. If you sense he is withdrawing from you, it’s time to give him the space he needs. You may be afraid he’ll get away from you for good, but this is actually good. If he wants to be with you, he’ll come back.

His pulling away can also signify that he’s not ready for a relationship. It could mean that he’s been hurt in the past and is afraid of getting hurt again. He may need some time to work through his issues before fully committing to you.

He Says He Doesn’t Want A Relationship: Probable Reasons

If any of mentioned signs match your guy’s behavior, it doesn’t mean for sure he doesn’t want a relationship with you. It can be easily explained by the fact he has been recently hurt in his previous relationships and wants to protect himself from getting hurt again. In this case, he just needs more time to open up and feel confident about starting a new relationship with you.

But it’s probably true if your man openly says that he is not ready for a committed relationship with you or anyone else. So why does he keep me around if he doesn’t want a relationship? There can be several reasons why he doesn’t want to have a serious relationship at the moment.

He Is Still Getting Over His Ex And Needs Some Time To Heal

It’s not uncommon for people to take some time to get over their exes. If the guy you’re seeing is constantly talking about his ex or if he seems preoccupied with her, it signifies that he’s not ready for a new relationship. He might need more time to heal before fully committing to someone new.

What does it mean when a guy says he thinks about you and his ex at the same time? Hearing your partner talk about their ex can be challenging, but it’s essential to try and be understanding. If you feel like you can’t handle it, you might want to talk to him about it. Explain how hearing him talk about his ex makes you feel and see if he’s willing to change the subject when it comes up.

He Could Be Afraid Of Commitment 

It’s not uncommon for men to be afraid of commitment. They may have witnessed their parents’ terrible relationship and do not wish to be in the same position. Or, they may have been burned in the past by an ex who was never really committed to the relationship.

Whatever the reason, when a guy says he loves you but your not dating, he’s not going to want to enter into a serious relationship with you. He’ll keep you around as a friend with benefits or a casual hookup, but he won’t want anything more serious.

He Enjoys The Attention And Benefits Of A Relationship

A selfish person takes resources, energy, and time from others but gives little back. Suppose you find yourself making all the plans, doing all the work, and being the one who always initiates contact. In that case, he’s probably not that interested in a relationship with you. You may be nothing more than a means to an end for him. Such a relationship is toxic and harms your self-esteem. So you conclude that in such a way, he says he doesn’t want a relationship.

 Even if you attempt to fix things, he may go back to his old ways. Don’t try to change him or improve the relationship. It’s not worth your time and energy. Instead, focus on bettering yourself and moving on to someone who will appreciate you.

Read Also: My Boyfriend Doesn’t Do Anything Special For Me: A Relationship Survival Guide

He Could Be Stringing You Along In Case His First Choice Doesn’t Work Out

If he’s dating other people and won’t commit to you, he may be stringing you along in case his first choice doesn’t work out. Why does he keep me around if he doesn’t want a relationship? He likes having you as a backup plan and knows he can always come back to you if things don’t work out with someone else. This is an unfair way to treat someone, so it’s best to move on if you think this is happening.

How to understand that are you a plan B for him? If he’s constantly texting you and trying to see you when convenient for him but never makes any actual plans with you, it’s a sign that he’s not serious about you. A guy who wants to be with you will make time for you, no matter how busy he is. Also, you may notice suspicious behavior like him being very interested in your single friends. If he’s always trying to set them up with his buddies, it’s one of the clear signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you.

There is plenty of fish in the sea, and you deserve someone who wants to be with you and only you. Don’t waste your time waiting around for him to make up his mind – there are plenty of other guys out there who would love to be in a committed relationship with you.

woman sitting on bed


Sometimes relationships require a deep analysis if you want things to work out. For example, if you’re in a relationship that feels like it’s going nowhere, it is time to sit down and figure out why he won’t commit but won’t leave you alone. Am I initiating communication between us while also maintaining a healthy relationship with myself? Does he need my presence in his life? Do I feel comfortable in that relationship?

If the answer is no, the time for tough conversations has come. The simplest solution is to ask him directly about the issue, “is he my boyfriend or are we just dating,” but that’s not always easy. Next, consider that you may be in a relationship with an abuser who won’t let you go. If that’s the case, get out and get help. Even if you believe that you can fix things between you two, it’s better to just walk away in most cases. Your mental health doesn’t worth the comforts of an emotionally abusive relationship.

Breakup is a hard decision to make, but you need a relationship that improves your life, not one that makes it more challenging. Remember that you’re a unique caring person who deserves to be in a healthy and loving relationship. We hope our blog post was helpful and gave you an insight into the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you. Please share it with your friends who might also find it helpful if it was. Thank you for reading!

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