Erin Leonard Relationships can be hard at times: one day, you peacefully enjoy each other’s company, and the next, you find yourselves in an argument that can spiral out of control. Silence builds up, and you want to take a glimpse into the other person’s perspective, yet cannot bring yourself to do so.
How does a man feel when he hurts a woman? Does he regret his words and actions? Can he sense the pain of the woman that he has hurt?
Yes, men can feel guilty when they hurt a woman, regardless of the severity of the situation. However, don’t let the stereotype trick you: while men express their feelings differently than women, they can still feel remorseful and responsible for their behavior.
If you found yourself in a situation where your man has hurt you, several signs may indicate how he feels. We’ll go over the possible signs that he may feel guilty, what he may do in response to it, and how you can approach the situation.
Why Do Guys Purposely Hurt You?
In the middle of the conflict, many of us get trapped into cognitive distortions and start believing in things that are not true, like someone hurts your feelings because he does not care about you. In truth, what he is really trying to do likely is to run away from his own feelings or protect himself from getting hurt.
Hurtful words or actions taking place in the heat of the moment may also be due to unresolved issues or irritations that have built up over time, and he is expressing these emotions in a destructive way.
Here’s a list of five common protective mechanisms you perceive from a man when he hurts you:
- He becomes defensive or argumentative. A man hurts a good woman of fear rather than actual malice and often leads to further hurtful conversations and misunderstandings between both parties.
- He distances himself emotionally and physically. A man may withdraw from the situation and go into his own head to avoid feelings of guilt or shame.
- He projects his own feelings onto you by accusing you of things he is feeling guilty about himself
- He becomes passive-aggressive in an effort to avoid taking responsibility for his actions or words.
- He makes excuses for his own behavior, shifting the blame onto someone or something else. This can be a sign that he is trying to rationalize his actions but is still struggling with feelings of guilt and regret.
So, why do guys purposely hurt you? Men are as vulnerable as women when it comes to heated arguments and feelings of hurt. His actions are rather projections of his own feelings of fear and shame rather than an indication that you are at fault.
Still, subconsciously, your partner understands the effect of his behavior on you even though he may feel justified in his actions. Different men express their feelings of guilt in different ways, so there’s no one-size-fits-all solution. However, we can name some signs indicating that he is feeling guilty about his outburst.
When Someone Hurts You: How Do Men Express Guilt?
When someone hurts your feelings and doesn’t care, it doesn’t seem like they understand the true depths of your feelings. Nevertheless, some tell-tale signs indicate a man feels guilty about how he treated you or the hurtful words he said.
It’s important to recognize these signals to manage the situation at hand better. Here are some common signs suggesting a man is dealing with guilt.
Trying to Make Up for It
When someone hurts you over and over, he may try to overcompensate by doing everything he can to make it up to you. He might buy you gifts, cook meals for you, take on extra household duties or do anything he thinks would help him mend the situation and make amends for his mistake.
This could be a sign of his guilt or an effort to alleviate the feeling of guilt inside him. It’s essential to pay attention to such behaviors to determine if they are genuine expressions of regret or simply attempts at masking the underlying issues.
Blaming Himself Excessively
When a friend hurts you deeply and feels truly guilty about his actions, he will tend to blame himself excessively and repeatedly bring up what he did wrong. This could be during conversations or simply while reflecting on his own behavior.
He will try to take responsibility for his actions and may even feel some degree of self-hatred. This is often a sign of deep remorse for what has transpired. Be gentle and remind him that he can learn from his mistakes and make better decisions in the future.
Acting Out of Character
When a man feels guilty for hurting someone who really cares for you, he may act out of character. This could include becoming overly apologetic in an effort to make up for their hurtful actions or trying to distance themselves emotionally from the situation.
It is important to remember that his behavior is not indicative of who he truly is but rather a result of his guilt and shame. Showing compassion and communicating openly about the issue can go a long way toward helping him cope with these feelings in a healthy way.
He Texts You/Calls You Without a Reason
Do guys feel bad when they hurt you? A man may reach out to you over text or phone without any clear purpose in mind. This could indicate that he feels guilty about something he has done and wants to ensure everything is alright between you.
He may feel anxious about your response and hope that talking with you will help to ease his guilt. If this type of behavior persists, it can signal that he needs help dealing with his emotions healthily. Let him know that it is okay to discuss his feelings and why he might have acted the way he did. Talking through the issue can help him to process what has happened.
He Apologizes Again and Again
Another sign of guilt in a man can be an over-the-top or unending apology. He may apologize repeatedly for something that happened, even if you have accepted the apology and moved past it without questioning how to make someone feel bad for hurting you.
It’s important to recognize his efforts as valid but also let him know they are not necessary at this point. It may be helpful to express your understanding of why he feels guilty so that he knows he is not alone in his feelings.
He Quietly Withdraws
When someone hurts you, he will withdraw from the situation and become less communicative. He may appear emotionally distant or aloof, and it can be difficult to get him to open up about his feelings. This behavior could be a sign that he is trying to avoid having any further hurtful interactions with you.
He might also feel embarrassed or ashamed of what happened and doesn’t want to face it head-on. It’s essential in this case not to pressure him into talking but instead let him know that you are still there for him if he wants to talk, whenever he is ready.
What to Do When Someone Hurts Your Feelings?
When you find yourself in a position where a man has hurt you, it can be difficult to know how to approach the situation. Why do I miss him when he hurt me? It is natural to feel angry, disappointed and sad.
Before engaging in any conversation, taking a step back and assessing how best to handle the situation without creating additional hurt is essential. Here are some conflict resolution techniques to help you:
Take Time Apart When Needed
It can be difficult to face each other after a situation has caused hurt and pain. It might be beneficial to take some time apart to process what to do when someone hurts your feelings and help both parties calm down. This could allow the man to reflect on his actions and consider if he needs to apologize or ask for forgiveness in any way.
Similarly, it may give the woman the space she needs to work through her emotions and clear her head before tackling the issue together. By taking some distance from each other, allows both parties to approach the conversation with a calmer mindset.
Process Your Emotions
It is entirely understandable and normal to experience a range of emotions when someone hurts your feelings. Identifying what emotions you are feeling can help you process them healthily. You may be experiencing feelings such as anger, sadness, fear, or guilt.
Take your time and write down how these emotions make you physically and emotionally. Answers to these questions can help to get in touch with your feelings and be more aware of the impact that has been made:
- How did the situation make you feel when it happened?
- How does this experience make you feel now?
- What is going through your mind right now?
- Do guys mean what they say when they are angry?
- What would be a constructive way to express these feelings?
If you are feeling overwhelmed, take some deep breaths and find ways to relax and ground yourself, such as going for a walk and getting in touch with nature. It can also be helpful to talk through your feelings with a trusted friend or loved one who can provide an impartial perspective and offer support without judgment.
Explain Him Your Feelings
When a man hurts a woman, it is important for him to take responsibility and understand that a caring partner will never hurt a woman who loves you. Once you feel ready, explain your feelings in an honest and open way.
Be sure not to blame or attack him. Tell him what you feel and allow him to process the situation. He may need time to think before responding, so let him know that he can take as much time as he needs to respond. Openly discuss the matter and be sure to listen to his perspective as well.
Plan Your Future Interactions
It is essential for both of you to be conscious and plan on how future interactions are handled with respect. Talk about the best ways to address any disagreements or conflicts without pointing fingers or hurting someone who really cares for you.
While it’s understandable that the hurtful incident was difficult, expressing understanding and a continued commitment to communication and mutual respect will help prevent similar episodes in the future.
It is also essential to ask for forgiveness and understand what happened from the other person’s point of view. This helps in creating a healthier foundation to build upon moving forward. To ensure this never happens again, you can set boundaries and expectations for interacting with each other going forward.
Move On
Understandably, when a man hurts a good woman, he may feel guilty and want to make up for his mistake. While this is certainly admirable, it is essential to remember that focusing on the present is necessary to build a healthy relationship going forward.
Many women ruminate on the past and never get to heal or move on fully. Instead, they focus on what went wrong and continue to dwell in guilt themselves. While this egocentric approach may feel helpful for them, it is not healthy or productive in the long term.
It is, therefore, essential to move forward from any events that have transpired and focus on building a stronger relationship based on trust, respect, and understanding. You’ve chosen him for a reason, and it is essential to remember why.
Conclusion
We hope this article has given you some insight into how a man feels when he hurts a woman and what steps should be taken by both people to move on from the situation.
Remember that relationships take work, and communication is vital; the issue will remain unresolved if you don’t discuss it. If either party needs additional assistance, many resources are available to help couples cope with pain healthily.
At the end of the day, relationships are supposed to be a source of comfort and joy for both people involved. So make sure to nurture your relationship with respect and appreciation for one another so it can continue to thrive for years to come.
