Studies have shown that 6 out of every 10 couples who’ve been together for less than two years eventually break up. And even when the relationship progresses past the first two years, there’s still a good chance it won’t last. If you wish to see yourself and your partner scale through the hurdles to come, love is one ingredient you cannot ignore. But while you know where you stand, how do you tell if your boyfriend loves you?
Sometimes, people want different things. You may be looking forward to getting married and starting a family while he probably doesn’t even see a future with you. If you’re to move on with him, it’s essential to know where he stands. Does he truly love you, or is he simply dating you for fun? Sometimes, it can be tough to tell as some guys can hide their true feelings quite well. So if you find yourself constantly typing “does my boyfriend really love me” on Google search, below are 17 signs that can answer your question.
Sign 1. He’s Protective
What are the signs my boyfriend loves me? A promising sign is when he’s protective of you. One of the hallmarks of a patriarchal society are men who protect and provide for their families. And while humans are trying to move into an age where all genders are equal, most men still feel the need to protect their women. If your boyfriend loves you, he will always try to show up in any way possible. If other men disrespect you, he’ll always be on hand to defend you. But a man’s protection is not restricted to altercations alone.
Men also feel compelled to provide financial security for their women. If your boyfriend loves you, he’s going to try to come through for you when you’re having money problems. He will also be a shoulder to cry on and a pair of warm arms to run into when you’re in trouble. How do I tell if he loves me? Just look for signs that he’s protective. See how he reacts when you’re in a bad place. Is he there offering to help? Is he frantically trying to find a solution even when you didn’t ask him to? Those are the signs of a man in love, and it’s unmistakable.
Sign 2. He Listens
If you feel like your man hardly listens when you speak, there’s a problem. Men are easily distracted. We hear this all too often. In fact, statistics show that women are better listeners than men. And while you can always talk to your girlfriends, there’s nothing better than dating a guy who you can talk to because he listens.
So how do you get a man to listen to you? Well, you can’t force the issue. A man who truly loves you will always be willing to listen to you. It doesn’t matter if you’re complaining about your boss or losing your mind because your favorite character on a TV show died. He just sits there and listens to your ramblings. Of course, a man can love you and still be a lousy listener. But when he does listen, it’s most likely because he’s in love with you. So if you’re asking does my BF loves me, the answer is yes if he’s a good listener.
Sign 3. He Compliments You Often
This is one of the most important signs to look for if you’re desperately looking for how to know if my boyfriend loves me. Raise your hand if you don’t enjoy warm compliments from men! Now how about getting them from your boyfriend? The thing is, you expect a guy who’s asking you out to compliment you. But some men tend to forget that part when they get the prize. If he stops saying how good you look, there’s a cause for worry. But if your boyfriend is still telling you how good you look, there’s a good chance he’s in love with you.
Also, the kind of compliment matters. It’s always good to hear that you’re hot or sexy. But being told that you’re beautiful hits differently, and it sounds so much better when it’s coming from your boyfriend. Compliments can do a world of good to your self-esteem. Women spend a lot of time and money trying to look their best. Of course, you’re not doing it solely to get compliments from your man, but you definitely hope he’s pleased with what he sees. So if you’re saying, ‘I feel like my boyfriend doesn’t love me,’ think about how often he compliments you. A man who tells you how beautiful you are is a man who’s interested. But if he hardly notices when you change your hair or wear a new dress, chances are he doesn’t love you anymore.
Sign 4. He Says He Loves You
Before asking ‘does my boyfriend love me,’ you should first think about how often he says those three magic words. If your man loves you, he’ll tell you. He’ll say it when he speaks to you in the morning and says it before he goes to bed. Granted, some men would instead show it than say it. Yet, it would be strange to find a man who’s madly in love with you but never tells you. This sign should never be taken lightly because words matter. Most people can’t say to their partners they love them unless they really do. There’s just something so powerful about those words that demand genuity. You can hardly fake it.
Obviously, there are still a few men out there who’ll say anything to get into your pants or keep you in a relationship that isn’t mutually beneficial. But if a man says he loves you 9 times out of 10, it’s because he genuinely does. We’ve heard many women say, ‘my boyfriend hasn’t said I love you,’ and we can understand their frustrations.
Yes, falling in love doesn’t happen so quickly. But if you’ve been with a man for over a year or two, you have every right to worry. If he hasn’t said those three words yet, it’s probably because he just doesn’t feel that way about you.
Sign 5. He’s Expressive
Saying I love you is part of being expressive, but there’s so much more. A man can tell you he loves you but not say anything else. Often, women want to know why their men love them. While some people criticize that question, it’s valid. Obviously, not everyone can express themselves well, but there’s beauty in his efforts irrespective of the outcome. You want to hear him tell you how he thinks about you before going to bed. He tells you his heart beats faster whenever he sees you. He’s also not afraid to tell you how he’s scared to lose you or how he gets jealous when he sees you with other people. These are words of affirmation that confirm he’s crazy about you. It’s a big part of the success of every relationship and should never be taken for granted. A man who’s not expressive is a sign you might be with someone who’s not in love with you. So, be sure to look out for this sign.
Sign 6. He Tells You Everything
Is my boyfriend in love with me? You can answer that question by asking another one. Does he tell you everything? If he does, there’s a good chance he’s in love with you. Have you ever been in a relationship with a guy, and it feels like you know nothing about his life? Some men like to keep secrets and never fully open up to their girlfriends. But these are hard men who are in love. Men who are in love never keep secrets. They would want you to know everything that goes on in their lives.
Openness comes with a kind of liberation that is important if you love someone without holding back. If your boyfriend is keeping secrets, he’ll never be able to love you completely. There’ll always be some part of him that you can’t have. Unfortunately, love works as all or none. It’s either you have every bit of him, or you have nothing at all. So if you think ‘my boyfriend doesn’t love me,’ you’re probably right if he doesn’t tell you everything.
Sign 7. He Wants You to Meet His Friends and Family
Before you came along, his family and friends were the most important people in his life. If you’re to become a part of that life, it’s natural to blend with the people who are already in it. Hence, he’ll want to introduce you to his family and friends. You should note that love isn’t something you can hide. If he’s in love with you, he’ll tell people about it. Those people are either his family members or friends. And because they want the best for him, they’ll be just as eager to see you as you are to see them.
Basically, there’s no way on earth a man who’s in love will hide his girlfriend from those closest to him. If you notice he’s trying to hide you from them, you may want to re-evaluate your relationship. More often than not, men hide women from their family and friends because there’s another woman who they aren’t hiding.
Sign 8. He Supports Your Dreams
A man who loves you will support your dreams and aspirations. Of course, he doesn’t have to pay your student loans or fund your lifestyle to show he supports you. There are so many other things he could do to show he’s behind you. Is he there to pick you up on the days when you feel you’re down and out? Does he encourage you to go for the things you dream of even when you don’t think you deserve it? A supportive man is your biggest fan. He wants you to have a life outside of your relationship and provide the enabling environment for you to soar. If this description sounds like the guy you’re dating, then there’s no reason to keep asking, ‘does my boyfriend love me.’ Chances are he does.
Sign 9. He Makes Time for You
How do I know if my boyfriend loves me? Well, does he make time for you? Everyone’s busy until they meet the person who’s worth their time. A man who can’t make time for you doesn’t love you. It’s that plain and simple. If he loves you truly, he’ll find the time. A man who’s in love will move mountains to make out time. If presidents can take a break from running a country to make time for their partners, surely, your man can find the time.
It’s important to know that it’s not just about what you want. He’s not taking out time to please you. He does it because, more than anything in the world, he wants to be with you. If your boyfriend truly loves you, his priority will be to spend quality time with you. You’re not just another part of his life that he has to attend to. You’re the central part of his life. Hence, you’re always a priority and never an option. If you find yourself thinking he says he loves me, but I don’t believe him, it’s probably because his actions don’t show it. And your instincts are spot on! A man who loves you will find time no matter how hard it is.
Sign 10. He Pays Attention to You
When you’re in a bad mood, it’s not your place to tell the people around you. That’s a golden rule! Okay, maybe not really. But saying to people around you that you’re not fine is such a hard thing to do. Your loved ones ought to know what you sound like when you’re happy. More importantly, your boyfriend should always be sensitive to your moods. When a guy loves a girl, he pays attention to her. He finds out what makes her happy and what makes her sad. Hence, he can tell when you’re not in a good mood.
Some women like to be alone when they’re unhappy, while others would rather be around people who cheer them up. Whatever the case may be, a guy who loves you will know when you’re feeling blue and what he has to do to make you feel better. It’s essential to look out for this sign if you’re saying, ‘I wanna know if he really loves me.’
Sign 11. He’s Willing to Try the Things You Like
Your boyfriend doesn’t have to like what you like. But it’s always so much fun when you both do stuff together. Hence, when he makes an effort to try out the things you want, it’s the most unambiguous indication yet that he’s in love with you. It could be watching a TV show you like or trying a food you love. Whatever it is, he’ll try them out just to prove his love and commitment.
Sometimes, he doesn’t even like doing it at all. But the love he has for you drives him to do the things that please you. Hence, he’s happy to do them because all he wants is to make you happy. However, this doesn’t have to happen every time. If you’ve been trying to get your boyfriend to sing karaoke with you to no avail, it doesn’t mean he’s not in love with you. But if he never makes an effort, then there’s cause for worry. If you’ve always wanted to know how to test your boyfriend’s love for you, this is probably the best way. It takes some level of sacrifice to do something you don’t like just to make someone else happy. If he doesn’t love you, it will be challenging to find the patience to try those things.
Sign 12. He Leans on You for Support
If you find yourself regularly googling ‘how to tell if my boyfriend loves me,” just look out for this sign. Support in a relationship is a two-way thing. Your boyfriend needs your support just as much as you need his. But if he doesn’t love you, chances are he doesn’t trust you enough to lean on you when he needs help. Your man should always be able to come to you in times of need. When he’s going through a difficult time, he has to seek the comfort of your shoulders.
Love isn’t just about giving. It’s also about talking. If all he does is give and never take, there’s a problem. If he never needs your help or craves your support, you should be worried. This sign is pretty important because most guys learn to solve their problems without asking for help. If he’s there leaning on you for support, it’s probably because he loves you and wants you to be involved in his life.
Sign 13. He Gets Jealous
Jealousy is good. A man who loves you will get jealous now and then. Yes, he’s scared to lose you. He doesn’t want to see you slip away from him and into the arms of another man. Hence, he’ll want to know about that guy who calls often. He’ll be curious about the guy from work that appears in all your work selfies. When it’s healthy, jealousy can be a good thing. A man who doesn’t love you isn’t too concerned about who you’re with or what you’re doing. He might even suggest that you see other people. This is because he’s not afraid to lose you. He doesn’t see a future with you and doesn’t mind if you’re messing around with other people.
9 times out of 10, a man who never gets jealous is probably dating another woman and keeping you like the side piece. He knows you’re dispensable. Hence, he doesn’t care. While jealousy can be a good thing, it’s also important to know that it can be unhealthy. Some men can go as far as answering your calls or forbidding you from moving with certain friends. This kind of jealousy shouldn’t be interpreted as love. It’s dangerous and should never be encouraged.
Read also: Check Boyfriend’s Text Messages
Sign 14. He Buys You Gifts
Gifts are a way to show love and appreciation. If your boyfriend is in love with you, he’s going to buy you gifts now and then. They don’t have to come on special days either. Any man can buy you a gift on Valentine’s Day or your birthday. But it takes a man who genuinely loves you to buy you gifts on days when you least expect him to. It doesn’t have to be expensive gifts. It’s not the quality but the thought that counts.
A guy who’s in love with you will put a lot of thought into the gifts he gets you. He may notice that you don’t currently own a wristwatch, or you always said you’d like to buy a specific dress. The idea is that he pays attention to you enough to know the things you want or need. This shows how much he cares for you and his level of commitment to making you happy. Gifting is one of the five love languages and a vital love language that should never be ignored. Your boyfriend knows this. Unless he’s broke, there really isn’t any excuse not to surprise you with gifts. There’s only one explanation, and that’s because he doesn’t love you enough to show his appreciation through gifts.
Sign 15. When It’s More Than Sex
Sex is an essential part of a relationship. It builds intimacy and can be a fun way to show your partner how much you love them. However, it’s not necessary for a healthy relationship. Your relationship can still thrive without sex. This is why you should be concerned when all your boyfriend seems to care about is sex. Of course, sexual desires have been proven to be more in men than women. This means your boyfriend may have a higher sex drive, and it’s expected that he wants sex more often than you do.
However, if it’s the only kind of intimacy you both share, there’s a problem. Men can have sex with many women without feeling a thing for them. So if he’s always asking for sex but never wants to cuddle, spend quality time together, or go out, the chances are that he’s there only for the sex. A man who loves you will want to be with you whether you’re having sex or not. The success of your relationship won’t depend on how often you sleep together. Hence, you should always look out for men who want more from the relationship than just sex.
Sign 16. He Respects You
Does my boyfriend still love me? Well, does he respect you? If he doesn’t, he certainly doesn’t love you anymore. A guy who loves you will show you the respect you deserve. He won’t disrespect you by going out with other women or doing things with other people. Obviously, being with a guy doesn’t mean he can’t have friends or do stuff with other people. But there’s an acceptable level and another level that’s just downright disrespectful. For example, if he’s taking calls from another woman in the middle of the night or always chatting with other people when you’re together, that’s disrespectful. Your man is also being disrespectful if he looks at other women. A man who loves you will never jeopardize your relationship by doing things that make you feel insecure.
Ever heard a guy say, “I can’t. My girlfriend will kill me.” That’s a guy who respects his girlfriend. Of course, she’s not going to kill him literally. But he respects her enough to know there are certain lines he cannot cross because he’s committed to another person. Other forms of disrespect could involve talking to you harshly in front of his friends or not taking your opinions seriously. A man who loves you will respect what you share, respect you as a person, and respects your views even when he doesn’t think you’re right.
Sign 17. He Isn’t Too Proud to Apologize
Saying you’re sorry can go a long way to prevent further arguments. A guy who genuinely loves you will be eager to apologize when he has done something wrong. And it isn’t just an apology, but he shows remorse and truly regrets what he did. The sincerity in his apology is a testament to his willingness to put in the effort to ensure your relationship doesn’t have too many bumps that could begin to cause resentment.
There are even guys who would apologize when they’re not in the wrong. It simply shows how much he cares about you and wouldn’t want you to stay mad at him. Also, a guy who likes you will want to explain his actions and why he said what he said or did what he did. He leaves nothing to chance because he’s eager not to repeat the same mistakes. He may also go out of his way to apologize by getting you gifts, cooking for you or taking you somewhere nice. These are all signs that he’s deeply in love with you. A guy who doesn’t love you won’t care too much about your feelings. His apologies aren’t always sincere, and he’d rather blame you than own up to his own mistakes.
Here’s one more sign to look for:
He Shows Commitment
When a woman says I feel like my boyfriend doesn’t love me, it’s likely because she’s dating a man who refuses to commit. Any man can ask you out on a date. But it takes a man who’s in love with you to show commitment. If he shows clear signs he wants to be involved in your future, it’s because he loves you and can’t picture a future where you’re not together.
A man can show commitment in different ways. One such way is to ask you to move in with him. This shows he loves you enough to want you to be part of his everyday life. It’s a massive show of commitment, and it’s usually one of the signs that shows you he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. However, the ultimate sign of a committed man is a marriage proposal. Unless he doesn’t want to get married, a man who loves you will prove his commitment by asking you to be in his life forever. But if he doesn’t want to talk about marriage or settle down with you, it’s probably because he doesn’t love you enough to see a future with you. Other signs of commitment include talking about kids and any other discussions that involve plans for the future.
Love is an essential ingredient to make a relationship work. If you’re in love with your boyfriend, that’s just the first part. If he doesn’t love you back, there’s a huge problem. Hence, it’s essential to be sure that the guy you’re in love with loves you back. If you don’t think he loves you, then you may want to consider your options and choose whether to stay with him or move on with your life.
Also, there’s a chance he used to love you, but things have since changed. This is natural. So, if you’re saying I don’t think my boyfriend loves me after years of dating, you may just be right. Sometimes, love fades, and there’s a chance he may be hesitant to tell you he no longer wants to be with you. But you can always tell from how he acts. If he is no longer the sweet, respectful, loving guy he used to be, it’s time to go.
Many women say, ‘I don’t think my boyfriend loves me anymore, but they never leave.’ If that’s you, it’s time to have some courage and be with someone who loves you enough to treat you with the love and respect you deserve.